Ever since President Obama gave his Inaugural Address, Republicans have been claiming it was partisan, that the President didn’t reach out to them enough. What was so “partisan” about that speech, which most of us believed was simply a catalog of basic American values? For the benefit of those who are unsure, I decided to take the time to go through the speech and quote the relevant sections, with a corresponding explanation of why those sections were at odds with Republican doctrine.
1. The President said, “what binds this nation together is not the colors of our skin or the tenets of our faith or the origins of our names.” Republicans believe that this is a white Christian nation, whose founders believed should be run by white male landowners.
2. The President said, “while freedom is a gift from God, it must be secured by His people here on Earth.” Republicans believe that the ultimate reward will be given in Heaven, and that all you have to do to get there is to go to church and teach your children that dinosaurs and cave-men existed simultaneously.
3. The President said, “The patriots of 1776 did not fight to replace the tyranny of a king with the privileges of a few…” No, say the Republicans; our founders did not intend the benefits of this country to be given to the undeserving. You have to WORK for your success, and if you don’t make it, too bad. Our country consists of makers, not takers. (More on that later.)
4. The President said, “Together, we discovered that a free market only thrives when there are rules to ensure competition and fair play.” Republicans are opposed to any government interference with the free market. Always have been, always will be.
5. The President said, “Together, we resolved that a great nation must care for the vulnerable, and protect its people from life’s worst hazards and misfortune.” SEE #3.
6. The President said, “But we have always understood that when times change, so must we; that fidelity to our founding principles requires new responses to new challenges; that preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action.” Republicans do not believe in change or new responses or, especially, collective action. They view that as socialism or even communism! (Unless the collective action is being taken by groups of rich businessmen.)
7. The President said, “For the American people can no more meet the demands of today’s world by acting alone than American soldiers could have met the forces of fascism or communism with muskets and militias.” Republicans believe in individualism, not collectivism, and that if our troops were able to beat the British with muskets and militias, they could have beaten the Nazis with muskets and militias. Support the troops!
8. The President said, “No single person can train all the math and science teachers we’ll need to equip our children for the future.” Republicans believe that we can’t afford the luxury of more public school teachers; they point to home-schooling as the wave of the future. Who’s going to pay for all those teachers? (This is a common theme.)
9. The President said, “No single person can… build the roads and networks and research labs that will bring new jobs and businesses to our shores. Now, more than ever, we must do these things together, as one nation, and one people.” Republicans believe in the power of private enterprise. The government is the problem, not the solution.
10. The President said, “A decade of war is now ending.” The Republicans believe that sort of talk is just an excuse for cutting the defense budget, which would destroy our economy.
11. The President said, “An economic recovery has begun.” The Republicans don’t believe any economic recovery can begin until everybody pays the same rates and all regulations on Wall Street are eliminated in order to unleash the power of capitalism. And the defense budget is increased.
12. The President said, “America’s possibilities are limitless, for we possess all the qualities that this world without boundaries demands: youth and drive; diversity and openness; an endless capacity for risk and a gift for reinvention.” Republicans prefer to put their faith in age, secrecy, conservatism and following the tried and true. The rest of that stuff is poppycock.
13. The President said, “For we, the people, understand that our country cannot succeed when a shrinking few do very well and a growing many barely make it.” Republicans believe that everybody should be part of the 1%.
14. The President said, “We know that America thrives when… the wages of honest labor liberate families from the brink of hardship.” Republicans believe that American thrives when lots of unemployed workers are always available to American industry, and they don’t use the word “labor,” which was invented by Karl Marx.
15. The President said, “We are true to our creed when a little girl born into the bleakest poverty knows that she has the same chance to succeed as anybody else, because she is an American, she is free, and she is equal, not just in the eyes of God but also in our own.” Republicans find that sentiment quite noble, but don’t think we can afford to help everybody. Who’s going to pay for it?
16. The President said, “We understand that outworn programs are inadequate to the needs of our time.” Republicans know who he’s referring to, and they find it lacking in the bipartisan spirit.
17. The President said, “We must harness new ideas and technology to remake our government.” Republicans believe there is no need to “remake our government,” which implies that the Constitition is not a perfect document dictated by Jesus.
18. The President said, “our purpose endures: a nation that rewards the effort and determination of every single American.” Republicans don’t believe in equal rewards. They feel that smacks of communism.
19. The President said, “We, the people, still believe that every citizen deserves a basic measure of security and dignity.” SEE #18 ABOVE.
20. The President said, “we reject the belief that America must choose between caring for the generation that built this country and investing in the generation that will build its future.” Republicans want to know who’s going to pay for this. Certainly we can’t ask future generations to support useless old people (other than those who are currently receiving Social Security and voting for conservative candidates, of course).
21. The President said, “we remember the lessons of our past, when twilight years were spent in poverty, and parents of a child with a disability had nowhere to turn.” Republicans don’t believe such a past ever existed, at least not for their well-to-do families who worked hard to get where they were.
22. The President said, “We do not believe that in this country, freedom is reserved for the lucky, or happiness for the few.” Republicans suspend their criticism of evolution to cite the principle of survival of the fittest and luckiest.
23. The President said, “We recognize that no matter how responsibly we live our lives, any one of us, at any time, may face a job loss, or a sudden illness, or a home swept away in a terrible storm.” SEE #22 ABOVE.
24. The President said, “The commitments we make to each other – through Medicare, and Medicaid, and Social Security – these things do not sap our initiative; they strengthen us. They do not make us a nation of takers; they free us to take the risks that make this country great.” Republicans are choking on their martinis.
25. The President said, “We will respond to the threat of climate change, knowing that the failure to do so would betray our children and future generations.” Republicans who were choking on their martinis are now turning blue in the face.
26. The President said, “We, the people, still believe that enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war.” The Republicans believe in perpetual war. Also, SEE #10 ABOVE.
27. The President said, “we are also heirs to those who won the peace and not just the war, who turned sworn enemies into the surest of friends, and we must carry those lessons into this time as well.” Republicans believe that the only way to turn enemies into friends is to kick their asses first, like we did the British, Japanese and Germans. If he means the Iranians, forget it! We’ll never be friend with those lousy… ahem, you know what we mean.
28. The President said, “We will show the courage to try and resolve our differences with other nations peacefully.” SEE #27 ABOVE.
29. The President said, “We will support democracy from Asia to Africa; from the Americas to the Middle East.” Republicans agree, unless we need to prop up a dictator in order to maintain order in that part of the world.
30. The President said, “We must be a source of hope to the poor, the sick, the marginalized, the victims of prejudice.” Who’s going to pay for that?
31. The President said, “Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall.” What the hell is he talking about? Republicans don’t recognize any of those references.
32. The President said, “our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on Earth.” Who’s going to pay for that? Republicans believe we should cut foreign aid.
33. The President said, “Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law – for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.” OMG, he said “gay”! Republicans believe in one man/one or two or three women.
34. The President said, “Our journey is not complete until no citizen is forced to wait for hours to exercise the right to vote.” Republicans believe that making people stand in line for hours is the best way to make sure that they are serious about voting, especially in urban areas.
35. The President said, “Our journey is not complete until we find a better way to welcome the striving, hopeful immigrants who still see America as a land of opportunity.” Republicans believe we need to build higher border fences and arm citizen militias.
36. The President said, “the quiet lanes of Newtown.” Republicans believe that whole thing was a fake, in order to support the destruction of the 2nd Amendment.
37. The President said, “Being true to our founding documents does not require us to agree on every contour of life; it does not mean we will all define liberty in exactly the same way, or follow the same precise path to happiness.” Republicans believe in a strict intepretation of the Constitution, which were dictated by Jesus and cannot be changed. We are not willing to compromise on that. (But the President should, of course.)
38. The President said, “Progress does not compel us to settle centuries-long debates about the role of government for all time.” Republicans believe there is no debate about the role of government, since government has no role other than to employ politicians to do nothing, while collecting money from lobbyists.
39. The President said, “We cannot mistake absolutism for principle.” Republicans believe thier principles are absolute.
40. The President said, “We cannot… treat name-calling as reasoned debate.” Fuck you, asshole.
41. The President said, “We must act, knowing that today’s victories will be only partial.” What victories? Republicans are sworn to block every piece of legislation you propose.
42. The President said, “You and I, as citizens, have the power to set this country’s course.” Republicans believe that the country’s course should be set by those who have always set the country’s course — the 1%, who pay all our bills. (By that we mean the bills of Republican legislators.)
43. The President said, “With common effort and common purpose, with passion and dedication, let us answer the call of history, and carry into an uncertain future that precious light of freedom.” What kind of commie talk is that?
I might have missed a few items, but just to prove the speech was not entirely filled with left-wing crapola, here are few things the President said that WERE non-partisan:
We must “…revamp our tax code, reform our schools…” Yeah, now we’re talkin’!
“Through it all, we have never relinquished our skepticism of central authority, nor have we succumbed to the fiction that all society’s ills can be cured through government alone. Our celebration of initiative and enterprise; our insistence on hard work and personal responsibility, are constants in our character.” (Is there a “but” in there someplace?)
“We must make the hard choices to reduce the cost of health care and the size of our deficit.” He said “deficit”! Let’s roll!
“God…” (Several references, but not enough.)
“Our brave men and women in uniform, tempered by the flames of battle, are unmatched in skill and courage. Our citizens, seared by the memory of those we have lost, know too well the price that is paid for liberty. The knowledge of their sacrifice will keep us forever vigilant against those who would do us harm.” Suppor the troops! Until they come home!
“My oath is not so different from the pledge we all make to the flag that waves above and that fills our hearts with pride.” Republicans are crying big tears and rubbing their flag pins.
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